Survey. Boys. Damn.

So I just took a survey for the Acadian Univ. in Canada about your past relationships and your top best memory and your single top worst memory from the relatonship. I chose our long distance fall out for the worst and the first night he gave up his virginity to me as the best memory we've ever had. The final essay question asked me to  tell the survey what I liked about our relationship and what I didn't. I thought the whole survey was HUGE for reflection--he and I don't talk anymore and the cold turkey closure wasn't much to live off of. Today provided me with much more closure--who I am, what feelings I had after writing the sad essay, and what feelings I had immediately after writing the good essay. I hope my feelings belonged to the right man and I hope they were the right feelings. I wonder often if I told him I loved him too soon. I just wonder if we had sex too soon. I wonder about a lot of things that hit me the night we chose to stop talking, but now I don't wonder about them as much. It's nice to have an empty mind sometimes, but I just wonder if I really have that closure I need. What if I'm just doing that baby thing where we pretend that we're ok and then have a sudden breakdown. Haha, I just need to know where the heck my mind is and where the heck I AM on this train of emotional commotion.